Miracles and Joy

Everyday, Always

This post is dedicated to Astra. As your mama said, you are the stuff stars are made of! Welcome to the world! May we all work hard to leave you a world that is more accepting of all its people. Know you are so loved! Blessings to you Angela. You made a life! What a miracle!

When I was 8 years old, we moved into a new house. My mom hung a porch swing out back and put this huge tractor tire in the yard and filled it with sand. Most days I could be found sitting on the swing reading or building and dreaming in the sand. I could spend hours there and even now thinking about it, a deep sense of calm and peace come over me. If only someone had told me then that those hours spent reading, swinging, playing in the sand, and sitting in the sun were what I needed to hold onto. That those moments were more important than anything because life is going to feel like a lot, but that moment as small as it seems, is the most important to remember.

In Panama, many mornings I would wake just as the sun was starting to rise and I would walk to the beach. The coolness of the mornings was like a treasure. Feeling the morning sun, the colors of various pinks, oranges, and blues in the sky, the sound of the waves, the way my feet would sink into the sand, the patterns on the beach from the various sand critters and crabs, the scent that filled the air and my soul. A moment, a beautiful sweet mindful-filled moment. If I didn’t know I had lived it, it kinda feels like a dream.

Today, I stood outside, filling a water trough, listening to the horses graze on the grass I had just given them, and feeling the sun on my face. I stood there for some time and it was the same feeling of calm and peace. Even as a young girl, I was practicing. I didn’t have the language for it, but I was practicing mindfulness then. I believe we all do as young children. I believe it is a practice that is innate within us. But it is quiet. The world around us is loud and demanding our attention, we lose sight of the quiet, the simple, the feeling of calm and peace that came to us. We practiced it less, exchanging it for the bright and shiny, the fast-moving, the complicated, and never looked back. At least that was my experience.

In the 90s, my girlfriends and I lived in an apartment for the summer and we put on our answering machine as most did, music. To the horror of our mothers, one such greeting was “Do Me ” by Bell Biv Devoe and us singing the chorus, “You can do me in the morning, you can do me in the night, you can do me when you wanna do me — leave a message!” That memory makes my heart light and also think of the crazy shit we did. To be young… Anywho, in October of last year, I decided to bring back the 90s and left a different kind of greeting - this greeting asking folks to go outside and look up at the sky and to tell me what they noticed and how their body felt. This is something that I do multiple times a day. And every time I do, there is this feeling of such lightness, but also I feel so small. I am reminded each time of how incredible this big ball floating in space is, that we are all tiny miracles walking around - creating and building like we own this shit. We, WE are such a tiny bit of this huge and incredible creation we live upon. The vastness of the oceans, mountains, trees, animals, and plants — all miracles that each day are often taken for granted.

When we look up and out at the horizon it activates areas of our brains that are usually activated during meditation, dreaming, religious experience, and creative activity. ~ Dacher Keltner

This month “On Being” returned and I could not have been more happy. I love this podcast. The first guest on the show was Dacher Keltner. Dacher has his own podcast called “The Science of Happiness” and guess what one of the most recent episodes was about — “Why We Should Look Up at The Sky”!!! (*brushes shoulders off*). You should listen to the episode, but he goes on to talk about awe and what it is, and how it affects us. Awe, as defined by Dachner, is being in relation to something bigger, more vast than the self.” Moments of awe bring us into the here and now and deactivate the brain's default mode. The default mode is the network in the brain that makes our brain ruminate on things (hamster wheel thinking), tell stories about ourselves, and worry. It is the part that can lead us to experience depression and stress. How amazing is it that something that is all around us every day of our lives can help us to experience awe and reduce anxiety, stress, and depression and all we have to do is look up and out.

When I lived in St. Louis, I loved moments when it would snow or rain. It was a time that I could walk to Tower Grove Park and often there would hardly be anyone there. I loved the quiet of the park, but also how big it felt, and how the trees seemed to come alive. There was a grove of trees in a circle and underneath no rain or snow fell. I felt like I was in my own world and there (with music in my ears) I would dance and dance. Typing this now, brings about the same feelings I felt there then and it was at least 3 years ago. Awe — get you some!

To Ponder

When have you felt a sense of awe for yourself? Where were you? What did you see, smell, taste, and feel? Do you have a place that you go to get away? Why do you go there? What is it about that place that does something for you? Is that something awe?

Invitation to Practice

This is a direct invitation to go outside and look up and out. Whether it is just outside your house, a park, a graveyard (another one of my favorite places to visit), or a cityscape - go out. Look up and out and take time to notice how your body feels. Can you describe the feeling? Have you felt this before? On the playlist, this month is the song Mon Enfant, after standing quietly for a few moments, put that song in your ears as you look out and up. I’d love to hear back from you about your experience. Make this a daily practice — it’s free and highly beneficial.

I’m Reading

I just finished reading, “When the Stars Rain Down”. A beautiful story about a young Black woman in the 1830s in Georgia amidst a time of drought and the Ku Klux Klan and yet still how families love and persevere.

February Playlist

With love from me to you xoxo

A Delight and a Giggle

“The Book of Delights” by Ross Gay. page 141

I hope that the remainder of your week is full of joy and has a few moments of awe as well. Sending you sweet blessings! Until next time, Be well, be kind, be love - PEACE!

Candace